Do you love them?
Several Months ago I wrote a blog titled “Do you love her?” It was basically a funny story about me being in High school trying to be a “player.” A friend of mine asked me about one of the girls I talked to. He wanted to know if I cared if he talked to her seeing that I was so occupied trying to talk to as many girls as possible. Even though I kind of really liked the girl, I boasted about how he couldn’t take her away from me and to talk to her if he wanted. My friend looked me in my eye and asked me a simple question: “do you love her?” He laughed simultaneously. I was like heck naw you can have her. Let’s just say he got her in more ways than I could have imagined and that coined the phrase “do you love her?” Now even though I didn’t love her in my heart I knew I didn’t want him to talk to her. So whenever one of us asked each other that question about a girl we liked, we would say “yea,” – – basically to keep her off limits.
White_women_and_black_man_and_dating

Now that was High School, so let’s fast forward to current times and the reality of relationships. So now most of my buddies including myself have grown up and gotten married/started long term relationships, so of course we don’t play those types of silly games with the opposite sex. Or do we?
I mean I talk with my friends quite often just like I’m sure most of you all do, and we always talk about relationships. Whether it is about how well it is going, how terrible it’s going, or on whether we miss our last partner. The common theme on those conversations usually consists of issues that are not serious at all, while some are more complex.

Attractive couple not talking on the couch at home in the living room
Attractive couple not talking on the couch at home in the living room

So that brings me to the question of the day: Do you love him/her? I mean really…do you love them? We all know the divorce rates and how terrible they are. 50 percent of all marriages will go through a divorce but my question is “why”? I have one opinionated answer. Sometimes we play games with ourselves and when asked the question do you love her/him, we say “yes.” You see saying you love someone is just like it was in High school. We are telling others that this person is off limits. The reason is because we don’t want anyone else to have what we have or to know what we are really going through, so we fake it hoping to make it. We post pictures of “me and babe” this and “me and babe “ that. We try to force feed our peers this perception that we are the power couple and you should want to be like us. Then, behind closed doors, you both want to rip each other’s heads off. I mean most people go through this. We see celebrities, religious leaders, politicians all go through divorces or separations after a lengthy relationship.
fr2unt

I have another opinionated response: How many of you have heard or actually been a part of this answer? Let’s do it for the children’s sake. Most people with children know exactly what I am talking about. I grew up in a split house hold and thankfully both my parents did marry again and have pretty good lives, but sometimes we can take “doing for the children” too far. People end up staying in abusive relationships, being with someone they don’t really like, or being with someone they don’t even know. Sometimes it’s not even that complex. You can be a good person, and your partner can be a good person. But maybe you are just not compatible. You continue having a relationship, children and the “whole 9” just to realize you’re not as happy as you would like to be.

One might think that I am coming from the perspective that Love conquers all, but I’m not. You can easily be in love with one another and life just swallows you whole and spits both of you out. You can be in love and fall out of love from just growing apart. Nothing in life is perfect so please don’t expect love to be. The purpose of this post is really just to challenge you to ask yourself that question. I am a firm believer that everyone should be in Love, whether it works perfectly or does not, I think it is something we should all experience. So instead of settling for the person that only makes you laugh or that makes you look good in public, ask yourself. Do I love him/her? Chances are that if you don’t, you’re not as happy as you could be or maybe you don’t care.lol. Anyway that’s my two cents.

#behappy #beyou #beinlove #whatsyourlotto

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