Have you ever seen that one person who caught your eye dancing and/or two-stepping to themselves in a social environment? There was loud music and activity all around, but everything slowed down when you saw them? I’m pretty sure most of us have been there at some point in our lives, but more importantly, what did you do? How did you react? Did you react at all? From my experience, it seems like a lot of opportunity is left on the table from the male’s input on the topic. Males are afraid of rejection, simply put. How afraid are we?
I asked five males and females some of the same questions to try and clarify our understanding of one another. Males are more likely to be the aggressor in this particular situation, so I decided to conduct a little empirical research on the topic. I asked five males about their perspectives on whether or not they decide to take that leap of faith. To keep it simple, this is all based on attraction. Of course you may not approach a beautiful woman who’s thrown drinks on several men throughout the night, but we’re assuming you know nothing about your counterpart.
Question 1 (Males): What would be the largest barrier to your approaching a woman you find attractive?
Answer (Guys 1-4): Rejection. (in so many words)
Answer (Guy 5): The fear of investing in something with no result. (I think he’s afraid of rejection too, but this was his first response)
Question 1 (Females): What do you think is the biggest obstacle for men to approach you?
Female 1: “Sometimes I think guys may be intimidated by me. I think I’m sweet compared to most girls, though.” (I asked why would they be intimidated if you’re sweet) – – “I guess they’re afraid of rejection.”
Female 2: “I don’t think he would have a problem approaching me if he’s interested, unless he’s super shy. Have you ever wanted to approach a female, but didn’t?”
Me: I’m doing the interviewing here.
Female 3: “I think most guys are intimidated by me.”
Me: I’m sure they are.
Female 4: I don’t know. Probably because he thinks I’m already involved with someone.
Female 5: They don’t want to put in the work. They’re afraid I’ll tell them about my boyfriend and don’t want to risk being played. Not everyone has the confidence to approach total strangers. BUT for some reason, they will pull up next to me at a Stop sign and make an attempt. This happened to me lately!”
Me: Any success?
Female 5: Yes. I was used to pulling crazy Mother (Oooops). It was funny to me, but I would’ve denied him if I didn’t find him attractive.
Me: Well, damn.
Question 2 (Males): What percentage of guys do you think go for the gusto in this situation?
Male 1: 30-35%. Maybe 60% while intoxicated. (Makes sense)
Male 2: 40%
Male 3: Less than 50%
Male 4: 25%
Male 5: 43.8%
Female 1: 80-90%
Female 2: 90%
Female 3: 40%
Female 4: 75%
Female 5: 99% – – WOW.
Apparently, the guys are afraid of getting turned away and would rather not take the risk. The only plot twist here is that females seem to think that if you’re interested, you will more than likely approach them. That’s contrary to the opinion of their male counterparts. I guess the beginning of relationships are no different than gambling or playing the stock market: controlling your emotions and knowing when to buy or sell. Fellas, you can make the educated guess, but you’ll never know unless you take that risk. I can honestly say the only female I’ve ever approached with 100% confidence was Salli Mae. Boy, that was a mistake. She took everything.